@bparlan - RoastYourGithub
Commit Crime ScoreMeasures how βcriminalβ your commit habits are β based on frequency, consistency, and patterns. Higher = more chaos.100/100
Criminally Untouchable
- βΊYour contribution graph is so empty it came with an air freshener.
- βΊ27 contributions. The keyboard warranty expired before you used it.
- βΊGitHub sent you a 'are you still there?' notification. Twice.
- βΊYour commit messages are a work of abstract art.
Unlocked
π± Grass Toucher
π£ Friday Deployer
π January Energy
ποΈ The Great Silence
ποΈ Long-Timer
27
Contributions
2d
Best Streak
4%
Active Days
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Roast Reel
@bparlan's greatest hits (and misses)
π΅ Friday, May 23, 2025
βThe 'I'll catch up next week' era.β
π₯ Sunday, Jun 22, 20253 commits
βSilence... then chaos. A classic narrative arc.β
π΅ Saturday, Jun 28, 2025
βThe laptop was closed. The plants were watered.β
π₯ Friday, Jan 9, 20261 commits
βThe gap made the push sweeter. Or at least denser.β
π΅ Saturday, Jan 17, 2026
βThe out-of-office reply GitHub never got.β